Don’t wish death upon your enemies wish for them to have this for the rest of their life
teacher: what did you do this summer?
me: I went on a safari
i started jogging:
i started seeing somebody:
i started to garden:
i joined a band:
and i got a job!
thank you im really good at clicking reblog
dogs arent that great
protip: refer to all your mistakes as “artistic choices”
my health teacher has a sign in her room that says ‘if you cant handle the word vagina, then you shouldnt have your penis in one’
i wonder if my health teacher knows that shes tumblr famous
Why would I want to put my finger on his throat?
Go big or go home
*randomly feels pain on a random part of my body* oh god here we go im gonna die
you could spell pennslyvnaia wrong and usually no one notices
my little cousin got bit by a house spider and she was crying so i went to get some stuff to soothe and numb it but before i could even walk out the door i heard her quietly whisper ‘i can’t handle the responsibility of being spiderman’
*procrastinates doing things I love for an unknown reason*